Overheard in my bathroom

Our girls like to announce when they are going to use the bathroom. Sometimes they do so in excessive detail - I have had to speak to Anna more than once about telling her preschool teacher that she has to go poopy. Each time I make her repeat the phrase "I have to use the bathroom." Because I'm mean like that. Tonight I was upstairs when I heard Rachel tell Dan that she had to go potty. A few minutes later I hear her call for him.

"Daddy! DADDYDADDY! Daaaaaaaaaaaah-deeeeeeeeeeeee!"
"Yes Rachel?"
"I DON'T NEED YOU!"

Sharing

I have a huge update that I am working on (yeah I know, try to control your excitement) but in the meantime I had to share THIS because it just gave me a much-needed laugh. I hope you enjoy it as much as I did. Have a great weekend.

This one's for Shey

On Tuesday we came across a bunch of gorgeous flowers the day after a wedding at our synagogue. Mostly white roses tied up with ivory ribbon and I can't believe I forgot to take a picture of them before they started to wilt. At any rate, as I was sorting through them today the girls ended up with a handful of the roses. I let them play so I could steal a few minutes to clean up the kitchen without any "help." When I was finished with that task I walked into the family room to find Rachel snuggled into the couch with her blankey in one hand and a single rose in the other. Turning the corner I find Anna curled on her side on the floor, eyes closed, peaceful expression on her face. Surrounding her in a circle are the rest of the white roses. Not that she has a dramatic streak or anything.

Priorities

One recent Sunday morning my darling husband decided to bring in breakfast from our favorite fast-food coffee and donut shop. The girls anxiously awaited his return from the family room window. When Anna spotted him, she shouted: "Daddy! FOOD! DONUTS!" Just like that: Delight! EXCITEMENT! EUPHORIA!

But I can't really blame her. They are really, really good donuts.

One track mind

One of Anna's favorite toys is her magna doodle, which she calls her Game. Rachel loves her Game too but it's hard to tell if that love is genuine or if she's just copying her big sister. Anna has become quite an impressive little artist, drawing people, whales, elephants, mermaids, unicorns as well as regular horses. She can watch us draw something once and then instantly copy it. We signed her up for a drawing class over the summer and she learned to draw ice cream sundaes, lobsters and a dinner plate complete with burger, corn and watermelon, not to mention the silverware.

With all of those items and the rest of the universe to chose from as the subject of her art, Anna's favorite is - can you guess it, can you, can you - mermaids. So every session of Magna Doodle Madness begins with Anna calling to me, "Mommy, do you want to see me draw a beauuuuutiful mermaid?" Exactly the same question every single time, phrased exactly the same way. Rachel responds by offering up her most complicated trick: "Mommy, you want to see me draw, um, a circle?"

So tonight I was encouraging Rachel to expand on her circle. I explained that she could make a circle that looks like a face. Or a circle that looks like a pizza. Or a circle that looked like a cookie. Anna pipes in, in all seriousness: "How about a circle that looks like a beauuuuutiful mermaid?" No one can say the child isn't focused.

Could you maybe not mention that to the Rabbi?

A few months ago Anna decided her life's dream was to drive. Once she understood that there was an age rule for that particular luxury, she started asking other kids no matter what age they looked, "Are you sixteen?" She'd see other drivers on the road and ask me if they were sixteen. She'd tell total strangers how much she wanted to drive but that she couldn't yet because she's only three but when she turns sixteen she was definitely going to drive. I think that was the first time she truly grasped the idea of getting to do new things as she gets older. Prior to this epiphany she just thought that grownup/adult things were just things she couldn't have/do.

Since that time she enjoys talking about all the things she can do when she grows up. Obviously these conversations are often spurred by things she's watching us do. Last week she saw me putting knives away from the dishwasher and she told me that knives are dangerous and can give her a boo-boo so she can't have one until she grows up. Sure, no problem agreeing with that statement. Such a reasonable child!

Flash forward to earlier this week in the car on the way to the preschool open house. The preschool where no one has yet met my darling precocious daughters. The preschool that is located in a synagogue. The open house that the Rabbi will be attending. I am driving along sipping my diet coke which in Anna-speak is soda-that-I-can't-have-until-I'm-grown-up. As I pull into the synagogue parking lot Anna pipes up from the backseat: "Mommy, someday I will grow up and drink wine and beer and have a knife!"

As I clear the diet coke from my nostrils I send up a quick prayer that she fails to mention this dream to her new teachers.

Friendship

I have this awesome friend Holly. She is one of those friends who just totally gets me, whether I'm bragging about my kids or crying over some random drama. Best of all, she understands that there is simply no moment in life that does not call for a glass of wine.

Which is why I knew I could share with her the hideousness of my last big wine-related mistake. Over the phone I gave her all the gory details - spent the whole day in the sun, took some unfamiliar medication, did not drink water, drank some wine that was poured out into large plastic cups, yadda yadda yadda, passed out in our vacation hotel room, waking only to vomit profusely. (And that, dear readers, is all I will ever write about last Saturday night, period.) During this phone conversation I express my horror over the whole incident, as it is the first time in my life that I have ever thrown up as a result of alcohol consumption.

Holly's response? A sincerely joyful I am so proud of you! This is exactly why we are friends.